I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
