The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
