I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
