plz talk dirty to me
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
