You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wrigley field is MILF paradise
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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