Moan for me like Helen Keller
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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