im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize