She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
