My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
