"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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