Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
