I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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