I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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