And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
