this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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