Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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