everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Terrible idea I love it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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