physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
