I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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