Please, let me fuck your mom
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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