Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
