I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The adults are the big ones right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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