Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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