He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
