Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
