Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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