You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
