After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pants are for mortals
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
