not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
