I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
