something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
