She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
this hospital has no fireball
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
