he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
