idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
