oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
