why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
