I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
