I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
