It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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