he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
