i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
