I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Text me some of your sweat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize