Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
