how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is wine microwaveable?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Randomize
