At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
