So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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