I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
