This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
