Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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