I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize