i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
