awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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