Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize