i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
